I never planned to have children. They never made sense to me, nor did I care to spend time with them. I always thought it was because I was the one of the oldest of a litter of 8. I preferred to read or spend time with animals. Or hanging out with my dad at his clinic, watching procedures and playing in the lab.
As an adult, I had a reoccurring dream of a baby, bald and toothless, in a crib. I would go into the room to check on him and he would start talking to me as as an adult would. Complete, complex sentences. Incredible ideas came from this little guy. Unusual, but, it was a dream, right? The dreams stopped after my son was born. He was an emergency c-section, 5 weeks early. I had plenty of time off work to bond with him, to breast feed, to do all the “right” things… But both of us would fall asleep while I was nursing him, and I found using the pumps much more efficient to get the milk to feed him with bottles. And he would eat more, put on the weight he needed to gain. He liked to be held, but not too much. He preferred his “lambie”, a sheep skin he could stretch out on, pet and grasp until he fell asleep. He got into a routine very quickly, except for sleeping through the night. At six months I was still getting up to feed him and working full time. So one night I told him: If you let mom sleep tonight…it is ok if you are awake…but if you let mom sleep tonight, you can have blueberries for breakfast.
The next morning I awoke in a panic, certain harm had come to my son. He was awake and smiling. Babbling starting as I grinned. He wanted his favorite food – blueberries! So I washed a few, mushed them up well and he had blueberries for breakfast. This began a tradition that lasted for years – I got a good night’s sleep and John got blueberries for breakfast. My now 19 year old expects the ‘frig’ to be stocked with blueberries on his visits home from school – and I am happy to do so. (No requests for chips or pop!!)
Most children understand what we say at an age far younger than they can express themselves. This child was no exception but he would become extremely frustrated when he couldn’t express what he wanted to say. After plans fell through for in-home childcare, I tried a large, reputable daycare. I knew that wouldn’t work when I was told “He is fine if his back is turned to the other children, but if he sees them he cries.” John’s dad took it as a sign he was anti-social. I knew he just didn’t want to be around so many people. Before he was a year old, I knew I had a little introvert on my hands. And you don’t push an introvert to become an extrovert. You nurture the soul and let them learn in their own way. But what an adventure it would be!
Categories: INTJ and INTP