Anne Squared

Life filtered through the lens of an INTJ, Mom, and healthcare professional.

What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?

I found this thoughtful and inspiring post via “The Wind Horse Blog”, (a place and author I felt a connection with on matters I really have not posted about.)

I am reblogging this one, because just over a year ago, I was asked the question posed in this post, phrased a bit differently:

“Why not approach life as though you were a child and did not have a constant negative/fear dialog going through your head. Why not approach each day, each situation, for the best possible outcome, and not worry (in advance) about the consequences? You would most likely accomplish what you need to do, for your best interest. Deal with the outcome as it happens. Experience life as it happens.”

The woman speaking was not talking to me specifically, but the words hit home. For someone who anticipates every possible outcome, and is responsible for everyone, this was not only the inspiration but the kick in the butt I needed to end an abusive marriage. I had: No job. No money. Nothing but … anticipation and expectation. Ironically, for the first time in years, I woke up that morning feeling great, thinking “This is a new year and something good is going to happen.” (That is so NOT me!)

Things got worse, much worse. And there are still issues to deal with. But I have been happy, free and in control since that morning, January 1, 2012. And so have my children. I have been rebuilding my life, my friendships, and relationships that were destroyed by the cycle of abuse I was pulled into. I am able to help my children with rebuilding their lives, friendships and relationships. They see one stable parent who has pulled it together and fought (and won) for her children. I know it means a lot – they tell me.

I am still afraid of things. But I saw a quote, and I don’t know who to give credit to (sorry) but it keeps me going and makes (what might be) a rough day a good one:

“The only difference between fear and excitement is attitude.”

I can control my attitude. Most of the time.Sunrise

Jenny DuFresne

Oprah recently interviewed Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook, about her new book Lean In(Click to read excerpts).  Definitely a thought provoking interview (Watch Oprah’s Next Chapter segment).  In the interview this question was presented:  What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?  Honestly, the question drove right to my heart.  My mind magically and conveniently went blank.  What would I do?

Late into the night, I kept asking myself:  What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?  Since hearing the quote, I’ve been reminded of a couple of facts.

  1. When faced with an opportunity to describe a limit-free life, I get stuck as a very powerful voice (in my head) edits out any truly limitless, creative, inspired ideas I have with very rational objections.
  2. People can plant seeds of limiting beliefs in my heart/mind soil.  But I when I become the tenacious farmer—watering, cultivating…

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Categories: Family Issues, INTJ and INTP

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3 replies

  1. Sometimes you can step aside from the excitement of the moment and become afraid, but these can become rare instances, it just takes practice, the more you experience the moment as all, the easier it gets. Go for it! Good luck, you can do it and keep doing it, you have already begun!

    • I appreciate the encouragement and support. In hindsight I tried to tell my family (uncover one of the invisible elephants) and it was met with reactions …I can feel my muscles tightening up as I type. I think that just shut me down again. I am the first to stand for those who need help, to advocate for others, for my children. But for myself? I shut down and keep wondering “What did I do? Was it my fault?” until I get some external encouragement or validation that I was not to blame. Finding a good support system is critical, and practice, yes, you are right. Thank you. 🙂

  2. What a beautiful and inspiring post! Thank you for stopping by my blog, and thank you so much for sharing yourself so courageously! I’d wish you good luck, but clearly you are making your own luck.

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