Anne Squared

Life filtered through the lens of an INTJ, Mom, and healthcare professional.

Insomniac

To sleep, perchance to dream… 

 William Shakespeare – Hamlet

The Belle Jar

You start by carefully arranging everything on the bed: the long skinny pillow on one side, the regular pillow at the top, the pretty handmade blanket folded just so. You place your glasses and phone and kleenex on the night table and turn off the light. You lie down, wriggle yourself into position, and close your eyes.

Stop thinking, you tell your brain. Go to sleep.

But your brain won’t stop. Instead, it offers you bits and pieces of information, things that are useless on their own but suggestive of something deeper, more frightening. Or else it takes one small event from the day and expands it, blows it up like a grainy old photograph, then picks it apart. Or else it gives you just the beginnings of sentences, stuff like:

My kid is. My partner doesn’t. My boss won’t. My friend says. She knows. He wants. I…

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7 replies

  1. And it is 2 a.m.
    Sleep eludes me!

    • Join the club, Mary … I never have been a good sleeper.
      What is keeping you up at this hour? Must be east coast…

      • Yes it is. Virginia.
        When i lived in Hawaii, I did not have this problem.
        2 a.m. in Virginia is only 9 at night in Hawaii.
        My soul is in the wrong time zone, that’s all.
        🙂

        • I hope your soul catches up. I think mine would have a very difficult time transitioning from Hawaii to Virginia.

          I find this a good place to read, write, reflect – publish or not – in the wee hours. 🙂

        • You have an amazing blog, Mary. I think it will take me a week to go through and appreciate it. My photos are stuck in my head – we still don’t have a way to print those out yet.
          Or do we… ? 😀

  2. I can sleep if I can shut off my brain–now dealing with flooded basement

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