Anne Squared

Life filtered through the lens of an INTJ, Mom, and healthcare professional.

Not an INTJ Problem … is it??


ImageImage credit: Space-O Technologies.


I came across this on a feed that I could at least trace back to a company for credit. So time consuming, but so important, in my INTJ opinion.


I don’t think this is a problem for INTJ’s because we have a tendency to have all possible scenarios worked out in our head – and then some. It is the many other people that find the idea scary that we have already considered that an idea. I don’t consider my goals or dreams high reaching, by any means. But when I try to explain what I do or where my career path may lead, that is a concern for them. (Notice who it is a problem for…)


Sure, there is stuff that scares me – gives me nightmares! Like the thought of shopping at a large discount chain store during lunch hour, or on a weekend. Ok, anytime.


I shared with a relatively new friend what I use to go yacht shopping. (I lived near water, then.) In his INTJ way he puzzled over it but couldn’t process it – Why did I do that?  Because I could, I explained. I wasn’t buying a yacht, just looking. I liked sailing and what better way to learn about the sailboats than to go in a someone purchasing the boat. He was honestly shocked and amazed. No logic, no sense to doing that.


To me, it was one less flame to fear, one less thing to worry about. More data in the databanks.(I realize I am interchanging yacht and sailboat. Sometime we looked at one, sometimes another – mostly very large sailboats. Maybe I better go back for some more “test drives.” )


What do you think? Odd for an INTJ? Do your ideas or dreams scare others?


English: Matte color postcard of sailboats moo...

English: Matte color postcard of sailboats moored in Lake Michigan reads, “Greetings from Chicago. Getting ready for the Yacht Race.” Back is divided. Printed in Germany. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)





Categories: INTJ and INTP

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22 replies

  1. Reblogged this on Fleurs du Mol and commented:
    I think I just said this to someone yesterday. Not exactly this, but something about if your dreams don’t seem too big, then you need to not bother with them. Heh.

  2. My husband and I are two broken halves that fit into a nice whole. I will dream big, do the research, figure out the options — and freeze just before the finish line. He hates change, doesn’t engage in the process — and then sails in and carries us over the line every time.

  3. I’m not sure if people have found my dreams odd or not, though I’m sure they find me odd. 🙂 I’ve never been yacht shopping, but I love looking at homes, even though I have no intention of moving. If there’s a Parade of Homes, I’m there.

    • Lol. I find the home browsing an unusual ritual 🙂
      Is the Parade of Homes for selling the houses? I always thought they were fundraisers…

      • Some are, but I’m referring to the new home shows that are put on by various builders to try to entice you to buy one of their homes. There haven’t been any by us for a couple years given the economy slump, but I suspect they’ll show up again soon.

        • I stopped going to those because I always wanted to move. I loved the house and location here – almost 20 years – I wasn’t tempted to browse.
          I think most of the developments are in fields around here… not real tempting…imo…but then my rental was a field when we moved here, and it has matured nicely.
          I have a house if you feel like browsing 🙂

        • Haha, but you know as an introvert, I won’t. 🙂

  4. Not sure if it’s exclusively an INTJ issue, but as an INxJ I also contingency plan 20+ steps out. By the time I actualize decisions, I’ve already dissected options to the umpteenth degree. To the outside world not privy to my analytical thought process, it can seem crazy.

    • I agree, it is not just the domain of the INTJ – INTP and I believe INFJ also possess the propensity to work to perfect every possible event and scenario.
      When I slip into INTP mode, I am stuck in an analytical circle, usually stress internally. When the external world stresses me, the J kicks in and I can move on the info in my head.
      Have you found that not only trying to explain the thought process is almost impossible – but some of the ideas are considered…”odd.”??
      (Now my son needs about 3 words to follow the thought pattern – it takes us 30 minutes to describe the process to my daughter….if she doesn’t get distracted, wander off and redecorate another room 😉
      Thanks for your input – I don’t want to forget the other groups that share the special traits 🙂

      • I have found some difficulty in trying to explain my thought process with every other MBTI *except* IN_ _ s. I’m so enthralled with the almost immediate simpatico I have with all IN_ _s. The introverted intuitive group “gets me” and my wild thought processes more so than any other MBTI combo.

        And don’t worry about forgetting other groups. I certainly take no offense. It’s your blog. INTJ/P away. I thoroughly enjoy your perspective & certainly get on my own INxx bends to the exclusion of all others, too 🙂

        • I love your visits and comments 🙂
          I was explaining the blog to someone earlier today – that I really had no intent to focus on the INTJ/P aspect of the MBTI – it was only a mention in the intro about the way I see life…
          But the number of people that pass through that are looking for specific information about INTJ/P is incredible. And I know based on demographics it is likely a younger group of people looking for some answers –
          So…my “helper” mode (I had an “F” at one time, but that was before 20 years of a disastrous marriage) takes over and wants to provide more information about being an INTJ/P and that it is OK – and there is no right or wrong – even if others may make you feel that way.

          Of course, the INTJ kicks in, and I have to explain that what they are testing on is likely not the real MBTI, blah, blah…. and the entire thing gets so complicated, that I, as an INTJ, stick with what I know – the INTJ/P perspective of things and avoid what I don’t know – all the rest 🙂

          So, when time and energy allow me to make some modifications… I will make some shifts in the blog to reflect my desire to educate the small percentage – and those seeking information on INTJ – that it is ok. Hopefully a former colleague will take me up on the offer to design/redesign what I want.

          (Yes, I drive my INTJ friends crazy with my wordiness, but it is genetic – make a short story long …but then, my therapist thinks I never say much. lol)

        • Thank you! I always stop by but never have anything new to add to the discussion. I always leave with a smile on my face & the satisfaction of knowing that you view being an INTJ/P very much like I view being an INxx, though to be honest, I’ve been utilizing the INFJ/P functions much more frequently than TJ/P. I can colloquially jot quicker from feelings instead of source backed facts. 😀

          It’s so interesting to read about your F & recurring helper mode. I used to lean INTJ prior & during my 14 year marriage that wasn’t exactly healthy, too. It was after my children were born & leaving the marriage that I flipped to INFJ. I know many who say one’s personality cannot change that dramatically based on the cognitive stack, blah, blah, blah, but to me that’s just denying the decidedly human capacity to change. I also get really stubborn when people tell me I can’t do something.

          That’s exactly why I go on my INFJ tangents, too! I’m constantly amazed at how the searches for INFJ related content is directed my way. I’m certainly no expert. Until I gather more data or can direct them to a pertinent site, I just try to write about life from my perspective & hope it helps someone.

          Your redesign sounds fantastic! I’ve been kicking around an idea like that as well. Everyone is searching for their tribe & if that’s the traffic we’ve been getting, obviously there’s a need.

          Now how’s that for verbosity! 😝

        • I would have offered you some coffee if I had any social skills. 😉
          Drop in and chat anytime! Don’t mind the mess, tho 😀

  5. I have one memorable occasion in my past that fits the bill. I had a rough progression of temp jobs during the GFC, and once I got my tax return (and because it was quite sizable) I decided to do something with it. So I researched, planned and paid for a holiday to New Caledonia and Vanuatu, with the intention of going off from the main islands and camping in a few spots. Some of my mum’s friends looked at me in shock/horror. I was 23 (? no, 24) at the time, and was going to be travelling alone to countries I’d never been to before, both with an official language I wasn’t fluent in (my French is very much travelers) with no worry about it. They were very confused – wasn’t I scared, or worried, or shouldn’t I wait until my partner could make the trip with me? Nope, ’tis all good! And it was! And – I went abseiling down a waterfall in Port Vila, which I’d never done before here, let alone in a 3rd world country. But it was so much fun!

    • And to that I say – yeeeeehaaa! What a blast!!!
      I have done some things that in hindsight were not the greatest idea, but I don’t regret any of them. My dear grandma born in 1901 told us all : get an education, have a career, and travel all over the place. Go have your adventures, don’t wait.
      So when and where are the next trips??

  6. I love these INTJ posts of yours! They’re always so true. I “window shop” for things and ideas. My portfolio of “dream shares” is quite impressive. Even after having made a final decision on doing something, I still go back and consider other possibilities. This often leads to regrets about the path not taken but at any rate, I just love the idea of a world full of possibilities.

    • I’m glad you like them, Ruhan! My original intent was not to focus on the trait, so much as to show how it impacted my world – but I realize that there are many people who sincerely want to learn more about this and so many young men and women – especially – feel odd and left out. I want them to know we are normal – just a rare commodity 🙂
      Thanks for reading and commenting – I love the input from ya’ll 🙂

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